And You And I
by QueenPotatos
Summary: One Shot. My version of 14th of May, with my frustriated-fangirl's eyes. Kind of early Christmas present of MrFoshizzlePro.


**A/N : Bonjour my dear friend ! Hello les ptits zamis !**

**Here is my contribution to The "14th of May". I guess every RK writer have to write something about it. So here's my try !**

**This is my first one shot and my first real canon thing. I'd rather like writing something knew from the original story (althought I'm a huge canon lover...) Cause I don't feel very ease with just copying someone. It's much more easy to fail XD so I tried to stay as close to the manga as possible. But not too close cause it won't be funny otherwise! (but don't be mistaken this fic isn't funny ...). I only have the French version of the manga, so I found a US version on a website and used that translation. But I have to tell you that it's a little bit confusing and different from the French one. I honestly thing it's a mistake but...It's better for the fic so I didn't say anything huhuhu**

**The name of this fic was suppose to be "How it should have been : May 14th" but I've already seen that name somewhere so I picked up a new one. Maybe you see why...explanation at the end of the one shot!  
**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Rurouni Kenshin (I was gonna said Naruto cause I'm a Naruto writter too XD well, indeed it's true...)**

**Special thanks : Big bisous to sir ecstatic (and not ectasy!) for helping me with the beta ( in fact if you find a well-turned sentence it's most likely to be his than mine u.u). I dedicate this one shot to our friend MrFoshizzlePro (or MrIhaveastupidandlongpenname thatnobodycanrememberPro), I hope you'll like it buddy =)**

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**~~ May the 14h: Evening ~~**

_So...those times have begun again..._

Kaoru was getting worried. As she looked up at Megumi's and Sano's silhouettes fading in the dark alley, she felt her heart beating through her ears. Okubo's assassination had been tough news to handle at first, but Kaoru couldcare less. She had spent the entire afternoon trying to get inside Kenshin's thoughts. What pained hermost was that, after all the time they spent together, she wasn't able to figure out what was running in his mind at the very moment.

All of a sudden, she froze. She could feel his aura right behind her. Her breath got caught in her throat as she tried to analyze it. She could tell it wasn't hostile or sad...it was Kenshin's normal aura, warm and...grateful? She tightened her hands together to avoid them from shaking as she turned to welcome him with her bright beaming smile, as she had always done in the she turned to welcome him, with her bright smile, as she had always done. As if it was the last time she would do so...

"Kenshin!"

Kaoru was surprised by Kenshin's attitude. The sad smile on his face wasn't really new to her;with time she figured out when he was faking. However, this time, he wasn't hiding it.

"Where's Yahiko?" His voice sounded like jewels to her ears, gentle yet tinted with was she shaking like that?And yet she found herself trembling to the point of collapsing. What was the meaning behind the sudden anxiety that was beginning to build up inside of her being? He hadn't said anything yet. He's not going leave yet...not yet...

"Oh...he got tired of waiting for you and fell asleep. He's still a child. He can't stay up all night."

"I see."

The detachment of his words and body language made her stomach ache. She was feeling the urge to hug him and tell him what she had wanted to shout for the past few days. _Before it's too late..._

"Kenshin?" she tentatively called out his name to grab his attention back to her. But he didn't give her the chance to continue what was on her mind.

"Okubo-dono was assassinated this morning." His tone was neutral but firm. Something had changed: she didn't recognize the man in front of her. It wasn't her Kenshin anymore.

"I know**.** I saw the papers." She was starting to feel dizzy. She knew exactly what was coming next. She had anticipated this for a week. She thought she was prepared, that she would be able to handle the pain. But the truth was much crueler than her daydreams...

"The real killer was one of Shishio's men. Now that I know how Shishio does things, I cannot leave him alone. I'm going to Kyoto."

I'm leaving you.

That's what she heard as he spoke frankly.

"You're going to...assassinate Shishio Makoto?" she managed to say, paralyzed by the announcement.

"No...I'm not sure." She could feel his indecisiveness. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe she could still do something about it. She had to try. She had no choice. She opened her mouth to speak but he continued his monologue without waiting for her words.

"If I remain as I am now, I would fight until I defeat him. However, as in the fight with Saitou, I may revert to the Battousai. During my stay here, my heart was at ease, I felt as if I had changed from the hitokiri to an ordinary swordsman..."

In spite of the dramatic situation they were in, Kaoru couldn't help but smile at his words. If she had been able to ease his heart, even a little, then she would be the happiest woman on earth. But what happened next turned her smile upside down as quickly as it had come.

"But the fight with Saitou forced me to realize, that my innermost heart has not changed. The madness of the Battousai still lives within me."

She couldn't let Kenshin put himself down like that. She had seen him fight for the sake of people, fight to save lives, andfight for her! Every time...

"But...every time, you always come back to me!" She didn't know how she had managed to slip her inner thoughts and bringthem into light, but it was now or never. She couldn't help but grab his shoulder firmly, forcing him to meet her gaze. He had always come back. He would always come back. He had to...

"Both the time with Jin'eh and the time with Saitou, you have always come back as Kenshin!" she corrected her speech, hoping it would work on him.

"No..."

His hushed words shot painfully through her chest as if several daggers had been stabbed into her body all at once.

"With Jin'eh, I became Battousai to save you and your voice is what brought me back. But with Saitou I became Battousai only for the sake of fighting. During that fight, not even your voice could have reached me. The difference is crucial."

_Those time have begun again..._

How can he have such a peaceful face when saying such cruel words?

"When I first met you...even though you knew I was the Hitokiri Battousai, you kept me from leaving. You told me you didn't care about my past. I was very happy."

And she still didn't care. She didn't care about him being Battousai, she didn't care about Shishio's aim, and she didn't care about Okubo's death. She didn't care about Japan's future. She only cared about him.

"You..."

Unintentionally, her body started to realize. Her eyes widened, her temples dripped with sweat, her heart began to slow to a single gradual beat. She tried to grab his gi but found out that her muscles refused to move. Moving meant time was running out. Moving would make this moment real. Moving...would break the charm and her dreams. If only she could close her eyes and wake up in her bed, on May the 15th, with Kenshin making breakfast and a hot bath waiting for her...

_If I stay here any longer, I might reve__rt to Battousai and put Kaoru-dono and the __other__**s**__ in danger._

She watched him speaking, but couldn't hear his words. She was frozen, like a statue, unmoving, and dead inside.

"But to the government, to Shishio, and to all the people who have a grudge against me from the past, the Battousai is all I willever be."

But for Kaoru, Kenshin was her world.

_For that reason...I can't allow myself to stay here!_

As a thin and chilly breeze passed through her hair, Kaoru saw all the scene taking place in slow motion. His arms slowly surrounded her and joined behind her back, pulling her closer into his embrace. He nuzzled her neck before resting his head against hers. There was something about his gesture: the warmth of his arm, his cool breath on her skin, his hair tickling her cheek, his heart beathitting against her chest...Something that made her mind disconnect with the rest of her body.

"Thank you for everything that you've done for me...and...goodbye. I am a rurouni. And once again..."

_I will wander__…_

She didn't feel the tears coming from her eyes. She only felt the hole he left in the few fragments that remained of her heart and soul.

As his arms left her back, his body not holding her anymore, Kaoru's knees gave out and she fell to the ground with a silent thud. The salty tears reached her parted lips and revived them: at last, she found the strength to say his name.

"Ken...shin..."

She only managed to say it in short, shallow gasps. It hurt too much. She had no idea it would hurt that much. Her eyes were burning, her body shaking, and her vision blurring. Her limbs were numb. She watched the back of the man that had stolen her heart from the very beginning.

"Ken...shin!"

She remembered every precious moment of the short-lived times they spent together: every word, every smile, every touch...

There was no way she could live without him. She had to do something.

_Move Kaoru...Move!_

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"_Ken...shin!"_

The agonizing pain in Kaoru's voice as she shouted his name through the calm summer night scorched his ears as badly as her tears had burned his skin when one by one, the cold liquid seeped into the shoulder of his haori. He knew it would hurt, but she would get over it one day, even forget about him, and she would live happy ever after with all their friends in the Kamiya dojo.

Well, that was only if he could get rid of Shishio.

"_Kenshin!" _her joyful voice and her welcoming smile when he returned to the dojo every day rang out inside his head. He would never have the chance to hear that again. Wouldn't he?

He fought the urge to turn around and have a chance to look at her one more time. Right now, Kaoru shouldn't be crying his name in despair. He wanted to remember her smile, and bright blue tearless eyes, her slight blush when he gazed too intently at her.

He must have been deeply absorbed by his thoughts. That was the only way he could have missed it coming from behind.

He nearly gasped as he felt a warm hand close on his wrist. The hand was cold, tiny, and shaking. It could only be Kaoru's.

It had been so difficult to say his goodbyes. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why couldn't she understand his sadness and his sorrow behind his words? It had taken all of his courage to take her in his arms, and much more to let her go. But he had no choice. To save her smile and her innocence he would have to draw his sword once again.

He felt the grip on his wrist harden when he tried to escape from it. Silently, he cursed. He didn't know Kaoru possessed so much strength, but he should have figure it out countless time, for he went with her during her training in the other dojo. He had been too busy watching her graceful movement and her ponytail swinging around her shoulders to notice.

He was halfway turned around when suddenly Kaoru grabbed his gi with her other hand and yanked him into her embrace. She let go of his wrist and reached his jaw, then his cheek, his scar, his hair with her fingers. Her sapphire orbs were helplessly looking at him, like she was desperatelyhoping for some kind of sign that he would change his mind. The despair in her heart hurt him more than any blow he had received from his enemies. He felt so sorry, so unworthy of those tears...

"Kaoru-do-"

She didn't let him finish. Kaoru grabbed the back of his head and crushed her lips on his. Kenshin's eyes widened at her heroic gesture and froze. Kaoru's hand moved from the front of his gi to his back as she came closer and pushed her body against his. He could tell that she was on her tiptoes and almost making them fall as she put all her weight in the kiss. When she broke it, Kenshin was dazed, perplexed by her bold move. She was the first one to take him aback.

"Kao-"

His lips were linked with hers as she assaulted them again. This time much softer, like a regular kiss, a lover's kiss. He was starting to feel dizzy and confused. He could feel the salt on her soft lips; her jasmine scent intoxicated his sense, and started to relax behind her touch. All of a sudden he smirked. Given to her brutal approach it was certainly the first time she'd ever kissed someone. Kaoru took advantage of this opening and swept her tongue inside his mouth, rushing into his cavern, exploring him quickly as if it was her only shot.

Kenshin closed his eyes. He didn't have the will to reject her. It was quite the opposite: her soft lips and her petite body had much more effect on him than expected. But he ignored the messages his body was sending him and pulled her back with his hands on her shoulders.

"Kaoru-dono, please, you had to stop."

"Don't. Don't go Kenshin, please don't." She was begging him to stay. Between sobs she managed to reach him again and dropped light kisses on his lips and cheeks, tracing his scar with her moist lips moving against his skin. "Don't go, please, stay, don't leave me Kenshin... I-"

"Kaoru, don't." He said abruptly, pulling away. The look he gave her nearly scared her. He was being damn serious right now. He knew too well what she was going to say. And he couldn't bare to hear it without going mad.

"I-"

"Stop torturing yourself Kaoru-dono. I have to go. I'm sorry for-"

"But Kenshin I lo-"

He couldn't handle anymore teasing. Kenshin hushed her with a final deep kiss, moving his firm lips against her innocent ones, licking them in the process, and when Kaoru was distracted enough, he firmly closed his eyes and asked her inside of him to forgive him, for everything.

She fell unconscious as he punched her on her abdomen.

He held her with his right arm and put his other arm behind her knees. He made his way silently into the dojo, not wanting to wake up Yahiko. He was pleased to hear him snoring from the courtyard. This very courtyard...He stopped in the middle of it, still holding Kaoru bridal-style, taking a last look on the place he nearly considered his home during the past few months. His eyes finally came back to Kaoru's unconscious form.

He sighed.

He easily found his way to her room. He was use to going by her door in the dark every night since Jin'eh. He had to make sure she was still sleeping safely inside her room, and breathing calmly. How many nights had he spent in this very spot, looking after the safety of her sleep, sitting in front of her shoji?

He opened the door and finally laid Kaoru down to her futon. He didn't have the courage, or the impropriety, to undress her and put her in her yukata. He sat next to her for a moment, holding her hand, and decided that he could at least untie her obi before he left her. He thought it would be easier with her unconscious, not saying his name, not begging him, not kissing him...but her angelic face kept him from leaving just as much. Seeing a tear slid**e** down her cheek, he moved closer and softly flicked it off her face with the side of his thumb. She had such soft skin...

"Kaoru-dono..."

How did he get involved like this? He became a rurouni to avoid that very situation. He didn't want to hurt anyone. He didn't want to stain pure souls like Kaoru's with his dirty hands. He didn't want to feel the pain of those very bonds when he'd have to tear them apart.

"Kaoru-dono..."he whispered, resting his forehead on hers, his bangs brushing againsther face.

The moment she asked him to stay, he knew somewhere in his heart that something was being set off. Fate, destiny...he didn't care what it was called, but it took advantage of the weakness of his heart to play with him a little more. He could understand why life was being horrible to him**;** he only got what he deserved, but not Kaoru. Her tears were an aberration to him. He couldn't hate himself more for that.

"_I'm not asking the Battousai to stay! I want you, the rurouni to-"_

The rurouni would always be hers. But Battousai had to go.

"Kaoru..."

As a tear fell on Kaoru right cheek, Kenshin rose tohis feet and left the dojo, alone, into the foreboding darkness of the night.

"...I love you, too, Kaoru."

_On May __14__th__ 1878, the man known as Himu__ra Kenshin once again became a rurouni._

_Alone he disappeared into the foreboding darkness._

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**A/N : It's still quite depressing but hey, it's 14th of May, how can it be not depressing!? I could have made a lot of meaningful sentences about that but I lost my English today I can only thing of French formulation and I thing you really don't care about that crap XD_  
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**So, And you and I is refering to an OST of Seisou hen. I love the melody. This is not the soundtrack played for the farewell scene (It's Labyrinth) but it's the same theme. We're not opening a debate about Seisou hen here but I think the OST are really great...indeed...**

**Well I was really happy writing this, I hope you liked it too ; and that I didn't miss up everything in my author note cause I'm worn out and it's very difficult for me to concentrate XD**

Reviews are loves. _Christmas presents too !_


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